First up is Wendy Masri who submitted the following through Hyperorg.

Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad). The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second...

The following e-beggars tale comes via Computer Weekly.

Three beggars are begging in New York. The first writes "beg" on his cup and by the end of the day he has $10.

The second write "beg.com" on his cup and during the course of the day receives hundreds of thousands of dollars and is advised to float on Nasdaq.

The third beggar write "eBeg" on his cup, whereupon IBM and HP immediately send vice-presidents to speak with him about a strategic alliance and offer free hardware and consulting. Larry Ellison claims on CNBC that eBeg use 95% Oracle technology. i2 announces begTradeMatrix will furnish supply chain integration to the beggar and Cisco announces that virtually all eBeg traffic runs over its equipment.

Ian Stobie of Computing writes:

One thing that distinguishes people with a technical IT background from most others is that they know what RTFM means.
- Read the f***ing manual.

He also informs us the right-on modern day help desk equivalent is STFW.
- Search the f***ing web!

Joe Devo of Computing writes:

Newcastle University has a valuable lesson to teach us about what happens when you focus on detail and forget the big picture. I risk accusations of pedalling (sic) an urban myth but legend has it that following the change from polytechnic to university status, the first name settled on for the college was City University of Newcastle upon Tyne. This was all fine and dandy until whoever had the timeshare brain cell that day spotted the acronym horror.

A briefing on the Comprehensive Spending Review was e-mailed to all London Labour Party members. The following day they were all e-mailed again.

"Dear All,

Unfortunately the e-mail '2000 Spending Review' sent out to the GLLP list 18/7/00 was infected with the virus 'Wscript/Kak.worm'."

Nice to know that our government, who is aiming to make the UK the leader in e-commerce, does not even use a virus checker!